Back in the Day...

Have I mentioned that I'm home/family sick? I feel like half of my life is empty/missing. I dont' know what we were thinking moving away from Chicago just afterI was "inducted" into Todd's family. Then, I wanted to kick my own franny when I got pregnant; I thought about how the family will miss some milestones (not just here in CO, but also in Chicago).

This is a picture of my niece Jessica on my wedding day. The last day I've seen her in almost 2 yrs. I can't explain it, but when I first met her- we clicked on all levels. I balled my eyes out the day we pulled the U-Haul from her driveway. I remember for months thinking of reasons to write her and send her little gifts.

Now, Jessica is seven (I hated missing her last 2 birthdays!) and has a baby sister or brother about to be born. I'm sure I'm last year's old news to her- the first child that stole my heart. I think I try not to think of my homesickness as it makes me tear up- like I'm doing right now.

This probably sounds awful, but I think I was more excited about becoming part of the "family" than really being "married". I wasn't just gaining a husband and I appreciated that fact.

Now I'm going to be an aunt, twice over, and I'm not giving my daughter the gift of life with her extended famil and cousin who will be close to her age. What a bummer! I have many memories of Jessica playing with her cousin and best friend, Stephanie, who is in the same grade. I want that for Jasmin.

Maybe in the next few years we'll move back to Chicago and put our family back together.

BTW, if you're reading this, I love and miss you guys!