Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Is it just me, or are moms finding abstract social refuge on the internet? I tend to rely on feedback from other moms to see if I'm just riding the common "mom train" with my daily non-serious tribulations. So far, I think I'm experiencing the run of the mill mom life.

I had no idea how isolating it is to be a mom. You tend to fall out of touch with your friends who aren't mothers. And, the moms you do know are just as busy as you are and so interaction with them is limited as well. I guess my inner angst and guilt is not unusual.

I'm realizing that for a lot of moms out there, the internet is your base for "virtual" adult social interaction. Like we're waiting behind our monitors for a "hello, out there!" invitation to type while our babies are watching Baby Einstein videos or crying for our attention. I guess we all need an outlet; and the internet gives us solidarity with a frill of optional anonymity.

I am a happy mom. But sometimes I feel guilty because of it. Do I deserve to stay home, not make money and enjoy my days with my blossoming happy baby? I think that even though people (mostly men) say that they have modern views of committed relationships. But, I also think that they (men) are hiding that they also expect the traditional woman in us. And for me, there in-lies mymental tug of war. Men have gotten so used to women being moneymakers that they think that we should carry both the burdens of working women and traditional stay at home moms when our babies arrive. Insanity!

I also think that the "modern" man/woman relationships foster closeness and mind to mind interaction. But then we are thrown off guard when the babies come and the whole "modern" relationship is out the window. It's like we no longer know how to sustain dual (traditional & modern) relationships. Is it a man's way of showing us "you women can't have it all"?

I think that's where the postpartum woes stem from for both sexes. It seems like the babies are the one extra thing that we struggle to juggle and in an effort to be good parents, we let all the other "balls" fall to the wayside. But it's not healthy! Babies love to see their parents be close and model a well-rounded relationship! We must keep on trying to keep most of the balls in the air. And why is it that the "relationship foundation" ball (pre-baby) is the first ball we see fit to drop? Foundation is foundation and it's crucial to the family!

Will our babies have a better time of becoming parents and upgrading (yes, a positive word!) the foundational relationship between the spouses/committed? Will we be the models for our kids to have healthy balanced relationships pre and post babies?

The internet has replace our blissfull pre-baby relationship with our men! But, the internet will always be there! (wink)


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