Friday, April 21, 2006

I found myself feeling guilty today. I originally didn't think that I had done anything wrong- but then I noticed that the two people I affected acted a little hurt.

So here's the situation, I just need to get the guilt out of my head. I was given a ride by a friend (bless her heart). Her daughter was sitting in the back with my baby and started poking around her eye. I realized that she was only trying to have innocent fun and was trying to be gentle. But, being in a car, where sudden stops can happen- well, who knows- I was extra nervous about that particular way of playing with Jasmin. I (as far as I can remember) requested calmly to the sweet girl that she stop playing with Jasmin's eye area, but thanked her for her sweet attention. I must be very loopie b/c the next time I looked back the little girl seemed hurt and quiet. Then I looked at my friend (her mom) and she didn't seem thrilled at what I had said to her daughter. Apparently, the daughter (whom I adore, by the way) was hurt by what I said and is not going to talk to me for a while. It saddens me b/c when I saw her hurt face, I had a flashback of my own childhood chiding. Then, my friend's handsome baby boy started crying for the last half of the trip. Did I start a domino effect?

Anyways, it's the first time I've ever made a comment like that. I was intending to be calm (I thought I was) and say things gently, but I can't help how people react to my behavior, as stupid as it can get. I feel as though I looked like a cranky old childless woman.

Well, I hope it's forgiven and forgotten. I should have shut my mouth b/c she was not hurt in the least. My bad. =(


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